When I was little, my mom did a great job of making
birthdays super special. In our home, your birthday was definitely “your day”.
I LOVED my birthday and looked forward to all the fun pretty much all year.
Then one day I woke up and I was the mom and I was the person making birthdays special and my
birthday lost some of its shine. Beyond being the birthday person in my family,
well, I still have all these kids and adulting to do…even on my birthday!!
In no way is this a slight against my husband. The man has tried
to make it a special day, but I think even he was at a loss as to how to do
that and, frankly, the guy is busy providing for our family and being a daddy.
So for the last few years, probably since I had kids, I
haven’t loved my birthday, and that has brought some sadness to it. However, in
the last couple of years I have been working on my voice and priorities and making
this most of the life I have right here in front of me.
This year I applied all this to my birthday and I am sharing
a few of those ideas here today. Just remember, these are the things that made
my birthday awesome. This list should look unique to each mom.
1. I am a gifts
person. I like to give and receive gifts. In the case of my birthday, I like to
give my people a list of ideas of things I want and I like to have wrapped
gifts. But my husband doesn’t like to spend a lot of time shopping, shopping with
kids isn’t fun, and he definitely doesn’t like to wrap presents. In the past, I
have fretted about how he wasn’t shopping and it was almost my birthday, I would
find the gifts stashed in various places unwrapped which was kind of disappointing.
The gift part of my birthday wasn’t working. Instead of hoping that this year
my husband would magically learn to read my mind and shop early for exactly
what I had only hinted at and wrap it in amazing wrapping paper and display these
gifts for me to “ohh” and “ahh” over, I stepped up my part…I sent him an email
with links to Amazon for EXACTLY what I wanted. I pointed out to him that the
kids can still be involved even if they are just clicking “buy now”. And he
ordered it all to come gift wrapped!! It was my own bit of birthday magic to
have all these beautiful gifts lined up on the mantel for the week before my
birthday!
2. I stopped trying to do what other people say you should
do for your birthday. I love my kids and I love caring for my kids and I love
mornings. High on my list of things I don’t like is laying in bed listening
while my poor husband tries to get them all fed and ready so mommy can “sleep
in”. This year on my birthday I got up at my normal wake up time (it was a
Sunday, so it was a little later than a week day, but my Sunday normal). I got
the babies their morning milk. I helped prepare breakfast and dress kids for
church. I didn’t leave it all to Mark because the world says mom needs the day
off.
3. I expressed clear
and specific time expectations for my birthday, and then set up the babysitting
myself. I knew what I wanted from the day, why shouldn’t I make the childcare arrangements?
I wanted a trip out to lunch (which I specified as being at a favorite simple
lunch place rather than a big “birthday lunch” at a fancier restaurant) and
shopping with my husband at the mall. Before that, though, I wanted some time
alone in my own house, because that is a rare event here. So, I just set up the
expectation that I would help get the kids ready for church but would not
attend. It was a wonderful choice. I was careful to not apologize for it, too!
I am happy to say my birthday was a success!! It was an
awesome day with a good balance and flow. It was easily the best birthday I
have had as a mom. Mostly because I was clearer ahead of time with others, and
myself, about my priorities and expectations.
The other great thing about my birthday is where it lands on
the calendar…because I have all this wisdom to apply again in just a few days
for Mother’s Day. And you know, I think it will be the best one yet!
