The Poop Story

Because every family with small kids needs a good poop story. Be warned, this is probably not the post to read if you don't like a crazy poop story!

Last night right after dinner Mark needed to mow the lawn. I told him the boys needed a bath and I was just about over the day.

Famous last words.

Because then...
Joel has a tendency to poop in the bathtub. I have no idea why, but we deal with this on a pretty regular basis. Which is a bigger problem than it even sounds when you have two kids bathing together. I was pretty sure we would be OK, though, because Joel had already had a dirty diaper that day.

I was wrong.

A few minutes into the bath and there is a tiny speck of poop in the water because Joel tooted. Everyone out, drain, start over. Hurry to wash everyone just in case. Isaac starts to yell. Joel is fully pooping on one of the toy boats! I quickly grab child and boat and the water remains clean for Isaac...but I have a poopy child and boat in my hands. So I try to dump the poop in the toilet but splash it on the floor as Joel jerked my arm while trying to sit down and also smears poop on the side of the tub. I can deal with this. Clean up kid. Clean up toilet enough that we can start to dry everyone off and move to the jammies stage. The rest of the bathroom bleaching can come a little later.

Get the boys in their towels and grab the first bunch of poopy towels to get to the washing machine. House is too quite. Yep, naked boys outside! I go outside to get them and Isaac said they both needed to poop so they went outside. I pointed out that we poop indoors and ushered everyone back inside.

Isaac heads for the bathroom but lets me know it is not clean enough to use. So I run in to wipe it down quickly for him. Turn around to get Joel so I can get someone, ANYONE, in clothing. No Joel. He is outside AGAIN. This time actually pooping on the patio!! And then walked through it! AHHHH!

Got Joel inside and cleaned up. Noticed poop on my jeans. The whole time I am cleaning up Joel, Isaac is yelling that he needs to poop but there is a toy in the potty! WHAT?!?!?  Yes, he chose that moment to put a matchbox car in the toilet! Feeling like some child of mine needed to be in a safe and secure spot, I put Joel in his crib. Went to the bathroom with Isaac and made him get the toy out of the toilet. Then I told him to wash up and grabbed his still naked self to get him to the sink. At which point he yells "JUST DON"T TOUCH MY BUTT!" And I look down to see that he had already started to poop...and it was on my other pant leg! Great. Now I have poop from TWO kids on me! So I get him back on the toilet and go add my jeans to the poopy laundry pile. Then I went and cleaned up the patio. Then I wiped Isaac's behind and got clothes on him.

And at that moment Mark comes back in from simply mowing the yard. And did I ever have a story for him...

As an added bonus, somewhere in that story, I hurt my ankle...no idea where, no idea how, but it hurt! Thankfully, it is getting a little better tonight.

Not So Happy Mother's Day

Mother's Day is not my favorite holiday. I feel like it probably should be since I have two little boys and I AM a Mother. But it just isn't.

Because for years it wasn't a good day for me and, even though I finally became a mother, I still get those feelings of disappointment for other women. And because I have had that disappointment again this year...my arms are holding fewer children than we expected for this Mother's Day.

And churches just make it worse. They really do.

To poorly hack from Dickens....Mother's Day is a poor excuse for churches to segregate women every second Sunday in May.

I am on the mailing list for a few churches and each has plans to segregate women in some way on Mother's Day all in the name of family. This is a holiday that isn't even a church holiday. Really, they could just ignore it and still be Bible following Christians. Instead, they will add to the hurt women face in the world by bringing it right through the door of the church.

Women shouldn't have to prove anything on Mother's Day. It will cause hurt. I can 100% assure you it will cause hurt if women are segregated at church on Mother's Day.

A couple ways this is true (just in case you are sure your church is one that segregates nicely)...

1. Mother's v. non-mothers -

• Some women are hurting and want to be mom's...please don't rub it in at church. These women may even have angel babies in heaven. These babies made them mom's. Give her a flower.
• Some women are mothers even if not in the biological family sense (example - I have a cousin who has never had "her own kids" but has run a daycare for decades...she has wiped more tears and rears than most moms...and I consider her to be one to "her kids"!). These women deserve flowers, too.
• Not all mom's have their babies in their arms. Isaac's birthmom is a mother. She always will be. She made pretty much the most self sacrificing decision I can think of to not parent him. She should be recognized, but she should have to point herself out. Just give her the flower.

2. Types of mothers -

Some churches seem to want to give extra attention to single mom's. I get this one, sort of. These women are definitely amazing for carrying the burden of raising kids alone. BUT, just because someone is married, doesn't mean she isn't in the same position. Many women are carrying this burden and could use some extra pampering because being married to a guy who isn't leading is really hard. In fact, give this woman two of something! And then what about the woman who is married to a pretty good guy but they feel called to have a stay at home mom so finances are pretty tight. She doesn't get that manicure because she has a husband? I bet she hasn't seen the inside of a salon in years. Bless this woman on Mother's Day, too, please.

And then there is another issue that makes this day hard...not all mothers are awesome. They are just not. So to say "everyone has a reason to celebrate Mother's Day because everyone has a mother" is pretty much a knife to the heart of the person who was abused by their mom. Please just don't say this. 

So I still avoid church on Mother's Day sometimes. I just can't bare to watch churches further wound these women than it would be so easy to bless.

My advice for church leaders? Keep it simple. Keep it small. Keep it universal. Don't make a woman prove her motherhood. This will do wonders for healing and blessing. 

If you do want to do a reading, I suggest the following. Again, it will be a path to healing and blessing and isn't that the point of the church?

To those who gave birth this year to their first child—we celebrate with you

To those who lost a child this year – we mourn with you

To those who are in the trenches with little ones every day and wear the badge of food stains – we appreciate you

To those who experienced loss through miscarriage, failed adoptions, or running away—we mourn with you

To those who walk the hard path of infertility, fraught with pokes, prods, tears, and disappointment – we walk with you. Forgive us when we say foolish things. We don’t mean to make this harder than it is.

To those who are foster moms, mentor moms, and spiritual moms – we need you

To those who have warm and close relationships with your children – we celebrate with you

To those who have disappointment, heart ache, and distance with your children – we sit with you

To those who lost their mothers this year – we grieve with you

To those who experienced abuse at the hands of your own mother – we acknowledge your experience

To those who lived through driving tests, medical tests, and the overall testing of motherhood – we are better for having you in our midst

To those who have aborted children – we remember them and you on this day

To those who are single and long to be married and mothering your own children – we mourn that life has not turned out the way you longed for it to be

To those who step-parent – we walk with you on these complex paths

To those who envisioned lavishing love on grandchildren -yet that dream is not to be, we grieve with you

To those who will have emptier nests in the upcoming year – we grieve and rejoice with you

To those who placed children up for adoption — we commend you for your selflessness and remember how you hold that child in your heart

And to those who are pregnant with new life, both expected and surprising –we anticipate with you

This Mother’s Day, we walk with you. Mothering is not for the faint of heart and we have real warriors in our midst. We remember you.

 Reading Quoted From The Messy Middle