Dear Joel: On your first day of Kindergarten

Dear Joel,

Today is your first day of Kindergarten! A few hours ago we held hands as we walked to the bus stop together. We didn’t say much. I think we were both nervous we would cry. You smiled bravely and so did I. You told me that you were most afraid you wouldn’t have enough time with mommy. I said we would find a way. I couldn’t say anything else. Then we hugged and you got on the bus and we waved and you were off to your adventure. I can’t wait to hear all about it when you get home.

But here is the rest of my side of the story. I cried more than I expected in the last few days. I cried after I put you to bed last night and we both said we were proud of each other. I spent most of last night awake praying. I prayed for you and the boy you are becoming. I prayed for your teacher. I prayed with tears of thankfulness, because there were so many years I didn’t think I would even have a you to put on a bus today. I prayed in thankfulness that I will see you at the end of the day when some mommas have said goodbye to their kids until heaven.

I spent some time last night feeling like I couldn’t let you go today. You are MY Joel. I am your mom. I love you more than anyone and I wanted to find a way to keep you. But that isn’t how the world works, is it? It isn’t about keeping you. It is about letting you go be you. The amazing one-of-a-kind you that you can only be as you spread your wings in the big wide world.

I had to let you go today because you were ready to go. You waited so patiently for this day. You have been watching all the other kids go. Because of your Fall birthday, you spent some extra time in preschool.  You can do lots of math already. You are so close to reading on your own. You are social and love to be around people. To keep you would be to hold you back. I love you too much to do that. You will shine in school. You will grow in school. I am excited to see it, even if my tears are flowing today.

There is another reason I had to let you go today. It came to me last night as I was thinking of all your amazing attributes. The world needs you. To keep you would be selfish. The world is a bit crazy right now. The world needs people just like you now more than ever.

You are kindhearted. If someone is sad, you find a way to help cheer them up. If they are lonely, you include them. The world needs you.

You are friendly. You make new friends everywhere you go. I know when you come home today you will have fifteen new friends (even if you don’t know their names yet!). The world needs you.

You have a smile for everyone. I know the teachers today will appreciate your smiles on this first day of school. You brighten the world with that smile. The world needs you.

You have a sharp mind. You are always thinking of how things work and ways to figure out a new idea or plan. School will help you learn to do that even more. The world needs a thinking you.

You help others. Some kids in your class will be very nervous and you will help them find their way. The world needs you.

You are a peacemaker. Kindergarten is where everyone learns a lot about how to get along with others. This comes naturally to you and you can show others how to do it. The world needs you.

See, the more I think about it, there is no way to keep you as my little boy home with me. You are ready for school, and more importantly, it is time to share you with the world. To share the hope that you will bring. The world needs you. You will go do amazing things. I know you will. All I had to do was let go.

But I will still be really excited when you get home!!

I love you,

Mommy

Jesus Loves Peter. This I know.

It has been a hard 10 days as Peter’s mom.

It has been a hard 3.5 years as Peter’s mom. It has been almost exactly 3 years since we learned that the symptoms we were seeing in Peter were the result of a congenital abnormality in his brain. Over time we adjusted and Peter is just Peter. He is more work than a typical child. But he is just as wonderful and perfect and loving as any little guy.

But sometimes it just gets hard for a season. Not necessarily because of Peter but because of the world he lives in. One that administrators seem to rule. A world where he gets the short end of the stick and he didn’t even do anything wrong.

So, it is hard to be his mom because I see the injustice and the hurt and the hard on my boy.

In the last 10 days there have been insurance problems leading to his therapy being cancelled indefinitely. There have been school problems where his heart and spirit were ignored, even by generally well-meaning adults. I have cried so many tears. I have made so many phone calls. I have fought so hard for him. Some I can fix and some I am still trying. I don’t really ever stop trying!

BUT, through it all I have to remember something.

That God loves Peter even more than I do. That God knows what Peter needs even more than I do. That God sees where this is all going and I just don’t.

The night we first got his diagnosis was one of the scariest of my life. I can recall those emotions in a heartbeat. I cried as I rocked him to sleep that night. And then through my tears I tried to sing his normal nighttime songs: You Are My Sunshine and Jesus Loves You. I barely got through the first one. He will ALWAYS be my sunshine. Nothing that the doctors say can change that. Then I sang “Jesus loves Peter, this I know” and I couldn’t keep singing. Because it was true. He does love Peter. Not Peter with a perfect “normal” brain, He loves Peter with a “not quite formed” brain. He loves Peter more than I do. I clung to that fact in that moment.

I have held that fact close for these years of Peter’s life. God knows what therapy Peter needs. God will help us find a way to pay for it. God will help guide the teachers at school. God has held Peter and God will not stop now. To believe anything less is to let the Devil win.

I still have a lot of phone calls and emails and forms. There is some work on the ground that has to be done. But I will continue to pray and ask for what Peter needs. I don’t know what his future holds (as much as I would like some answers even in the short term) but I know who holds his future. And the one that hold his future is the Jesus who loves him. This is I know.

Two years later

Two years ago today I got a call that didn’t change the course of my life, but it did explain more about the course I was on. It shed light on something that was already happening. That phone call was a defining moment, it will be forever in my mind, but even if I had never answered the phone, the answer would have been the same.

A few days earlier my six month old son had an MRI of his brain. It was a scary procedure because it had to be done under full sedation. I held him as he fell asleep. The nurse warned me he would look like he had died. That was exactly how he looked. I cried when I was alone again. But the procedure, we were told, was to rule out a neurological reason for his nystagmus (or rapid eye movement). I wasn’t super worried. We already knew he needed glasses. I thought the glasses would fix all the problems.

Then as I was driving home on June 21^st, 2016, I got a call from our pediatrician. I don’t remember the rest of my drive home. I probably shouldn’t have been driving. She told me that the MRI had, in fact, confirmed a neurological reason for his nystagmus. She said she already had a call in to the Children’s Hospital Neurodevelopmental department for a consultation. She said words I couldn’t spell that day, but now I can spell in my sleep. Peter has a condition known as Optic Nerve Hypoplasia. That was the moment I learned my son had a birth defect. His brain didn’t form correctly in utero. You don’t forget the call when someone tells you your baby’s brain wasn’t formed right.

I went home and tried to tell my husband about it, but I didn’t even know all the words and I certainly didn’t know what it all meant. I cried some more. I cried putting my baby to bed. I cried trying to tell our pastor about it the next day. I didn’t want to tell many people. I didn’t know what to say. I barely understood it myself. I wanted it to go away.

Then I picked up my baby the next day and started to sing like I often did when he cried (and this poor baby who couldn’t see cried a LOT). “Jesus loves you, this I know, for the Bible tells me so…”. And I cried again. This was new information to me. It was not new information to God. He knit Peter together. He knew about Peter from the beginning of time. He loves my son more than I can imagine. I felt the love of Jesus wrapping us both in his arms.

I was already a really good mama bear because of Isaac, so I got right on figuring out who we needed to talk to for understanding more about Peter’s brain. We had to meet with a few specialists over the next few months. Early Intervention because a huge part of our lives. We were assigned a teacher for the visually impaired who has become a big part of our lives. I started asking for help. I started gratefully accepting any help that was given. A village would be needed to raise Peter.

There were many nights I still cried over Peter. I couldn’t fix his brain. I could only help him become his best self. I could be the best mama bear advocate I could be. I could be his best cheerleader. I could remind myself and him that “Jesus loves you, this I know, for the Bible tells me so…”

And then two years went by. The sting of the phone call past. The path was more illuminated by that call, but still pretty scary. I still don’t want him to have this. I want his brain whole. But I love who he is and how far he has come. He hadn’t met any two month old milestones at six months. He has met most of his two year old milestones. He attends preschool. He uses his mobility cane like a little boss. He loves his sister and brothers so big. He comforts me when I still cry over him.

I am so proud of Peter. He doesn’t know his brain is different. He just does his life and he does it well. He can teach us all lessons about love and life and perseverance.

Today I think about that call, but I also think about the little boy Peter is becoming and I smile, even if through the tears.

I Like You

Someone recently reminded me that the way we speak to our children becomes their inner voice.

So, yeah, no pressure there.

But this week I saw this happen in a good way.

The boys and I were watching Daniel Tiger and this was the catchy tune of the day...

"I like you
I like you
I like you just the way you are"

And I thought what if I sang that to my boys? I tried it right away. Isaac beamed! Joel beamed! Peter...well, he laid there, but I am sure he liked it.

Then I thought what if I sing that when I am frustrated with my boys? I tried it...and I was more calm and they looked happy instead of defeated.

So I kept singing the song...and they started to sing it to each other...and back to me. What a mommy pick me up!

And then I walked past Isaac's room today and heard:
"I like me
I like me
I like me just the way I am"

I has become his inner voice and it was good! I so want my kids to like themselves for exactly who they are. My mommy heart was full!!

And this works on another adults, too. Isaac saw that Grandmommom was sad and asked me to sing her the song to make her feel better. She smiled. It worked.

Who can you lift up this week by reminding them that you like them just the way they are?

Taking the Cake

I could share many Isaac stories from each day, but this one from today, quite literally, takes the cake!!!

Let me back up. For Father's Day we bought a chocolate scoop cake. This is basically layers of cake, chocolate mousse, and whip cream in a container about 5 inches tall. It tastes amazing! 

Isaac seems to agree.

We decided to have the cake for our dessert after dinner and gave each boy a small bowl. Both of them finished quickly and then proceeded to eat mine. (Of course!) Mark left the cake on the counter while we ate.

And it was spaghetti night. Which means, at our house anyway, a LOT of clean up after dinner. The boys were cleaned first and headed of to play. All seemed fine.

Then Joel called for "MOM-MEEEEEEE" and since it had been a little quiet and the boys were in Joel's room I went to check. Joel was stuck trying to get to Isaac...

...and where was Isaac???...

That little sneak had snagged the entire container of cake as he left the kitchen a few minutes before!! I found him tucked between the guest bed and the wall...face first into the cake container, arms wrapped around it, going at it like, well, a kid on cake!!! Seriously just using his mouth to get as much chocolate as possible before he was caught!

And this might be where we see the parenting fail in the story...

I laughed. I laughed HARD. I tried not to. I really did, but that little brown head all tucked into that container of chocolate cake...how could I NOT laugh.

So I took the cake and told him to go wash up. Mark asked if Isaac needed to be disciplined and I said "yeah, but I already laughed!". We talked about not taking food without asking, but I doubt it sunk in much :(

Life with Isaac is always interesting...and, apparently, delicious!!

Conversations with a Three Year Old: Morning Sickness Edition

In general, all of our conversations with Isaac regarding the new baby are pretty funny. He certainly has a lot of questions, ideas, and opinions (especially about names!). Some of his best comments, though, come about when I am sick (and by "sick", I mean leaning over the toilet loosing my breakfast). And since this happens almost every day...well, there is a lot of talk about vomit around here!

Sunday's version...

We were actually on our way to church and I wasn't feeling well. I told Mark to pull over so I could throw up before we got to the church parking lot. As I was leaning out the car door, I hear this conversation...

Isaac: Is Mommy throwing up the baby? [an ongoing concern]

Daddy: No, the baby just sometimes makes Mommy's tummy hurt so she throws up food. Only a doctor can get the baby out. [Because that is all a three year old needs to know!]

Isaac: He will use a rope. [WHAT?!?!?!]

Daddy: Nooo, he won't use a rope to the get baby out. Sometimes he uses his hands. And sometimes the doctor even uses a knife!

Isaac: How?

I abruptly ended their chat at this point because as you are throwing up on the side of the road you don't really want to contemplate having a baby cut out of you with a knife!!!

I can only imagine the questions regarding delivery are only going to get more interesting from here!!

A Thriving Surprise

I have some happy Thriving news today!

One of the reasons I found myself in the Middle Life this year was my desire for another child. We always wanted several kids, but kids haven't been easy to come by in our family. So I felt in the Middle with my desires.

In the last year we lost three babies at early stages of pregnancy. It hurts. It makes it hard to Thrive, but we continued to have faith that we would have more kids. And I blogged about it, too!

And now we have some happy news!! Actually, the happy news has been around for a few months, but when you have the problems we do it is hard to share early...so we waiting and prayed and hoped and prayed and started to allow ourselves to dream...and now we can finally share this happy news...

That's Right...we are adding a fifth Bennett in December!!

So far everything looks perfect with this little guy and we are so thankful for yet another miracle boy!!

The Poop Story

Because every family with small kids needs a good poop story. Be warned, this is probably not the post to read if you don't like a crazy poop story!

Last night right after dinner Mark needed to mow the lawn. I told him the boys needed a bath and I was just about over the day.

Famous last words.

Because then...
Joel has a tendency to poop in the bathtub. I have no idea why, but we deal with this on a pretty regular basis. Which is a bigger problem than it even sounds when you have two kids bathing together. I was pretty sure we would be OK, though, because Joel had already had a dirty diaper that day.

I was wrong.

A few minutes into the bath and there is a tiny speck of poop in the water because Joel tooted. Everyone out, drain, start over. Hurry to wash everyone just in case. Isaac starts to yell. Joel is fully pooping on one of the toy boats! I quickly grab child and boat and the water remains clean for Isaac...but I have a poopy child and boat in my hands. So I try to dump the poop in the toilet but splash it on the floor as Joel jerked my arm while trying to sit down and also smears poop on the side of the tub. I can deal with this. Clean up kid. Clean up toilet enough that we can start to dry everyone off and move to the jammies stage. The rest of the bathroom bleaching can come a little later.

Get the boys in their towels and grab the first bunch of poopy towels to get to the washing machine. House is too quite. Yep, naked boys outside! I go outside to get them and Isaac said they both needed to poop so they went outside. I pointed out that we poop indoors and ushered everyone back inside.

Isaac heads for the bathroom but lets me know it is not clean enough to use. So I run in to wipe it down quickly for him. Turn around to get Joel so I can get someone, ANYONE, in clothing. No Joel. He is outside AGAIN. This time actually pooping on the patio!! And then walked through it! AHHHH!

Got Joel inside and cleaned up. Noticed poop on my jeans. The whole time I am cleaning up Joel, Isaac is yelling that he needs to poop but there is a toy in the potty! WHAT?!?!?  Yes, he chose that moment to put a matchbox car in the toilet! Feeling like some child of mine needed to be in a safe and secure spot, I put Joel in his crib. Went to the bathroom with Isaac and made him get the toy out of the toilet. Then I told him to wash up and grabbed his still naked self to get him to the sink. At which point he yells "JUST DON"T TOUCH MY BUTT!" And I look down to see that he had already started to poop...and it was on my other pant leg! Great. Now I have poop from TWO kids on me! So I get him back on the toilet and go add my jeans to the poopy laundry pile. Then I went and cleaned up the patio. Then I wiped Isaac's behind and got clothes on him.

And at that moment Mark comes back in from simply mowing the yard. And did I ever have a story for him...

As an added bonus, somewhere in that story, I hurt my ankle...no idea where, no idea how, but it hurt! Thankfully, it is getting a little better tonight.

Conversations with a Three Year Old: Tomato seeds...or something like that...

Tornado season has started once again in Oklahoma. 

In fact, we had scary tornado on the ground way too close for comfort experience last week which has left our 3 year old wanting to discuss tornadoes all the time.

Except that he can't say "tornado" so we actually spend a lot of time discussing "tomatoes"! As in "Mommy, is the tomato alarm going off today?" "The tomato didn't get our house but it hurt some other houses." 

Tonight was my favorite...Mark told Isaac that it is tornado season and Isaac wanted to know all about the "tomato seeds"! 

And if you think about it, a tomato so big it needed a siren would be very scary...especially if it had a lot of seeds!!

Conversations with a Three Year Old: Part 5

Overheard at the playground...

Random Adult: "Is that your mommy?"

Isaac: "Yes, and she is also my April"

I am not even sure what to think of that!

It was...a day!

(I have been working on a deep blog post for several days, it isn't quite done, but this one was in my head today, so here it is....)

Marriage speaker Mark Gungor once said if you ask a man how his day was he will look back and the box could be empty already and he will say "ummm, it was...a day!". But a woman will tell you every. little. detail.

Sometimes, though, I look back and all I can say was "that was...a day" because I can't even believe all of what transpired in that day. Some days I am sure I have lived a whole week since I got up in the morning!! But, I can't even repeat it because it was so overwhelming, so I just say to myself "well, that was A DAY".

Today was one of those days.

I woke up feeling overwhelmed and then spent my day putting out fires and having new reasons to feel overwhelmed....

...starting a new business and all the little details of trying to have a kick off.

...taking my son to the doctor and dealing with billing problems (this one was resolved by other people today. YAY!) and then getting some heavy information about the kiddo during the appointment (thanking God that I have a HUGE support team to turn to to sort stuff out with).

....volunteering to make FORTY rice crispy straw bales for preschool tomorrow (the volunteering was done weeks ago, I was crazy).

...sending my kids out to play and having the 3 year old throw the 1 year old's glasses over the fence! (trying to be thankful he told me what he did!)

...and realizing as I got the toddler ready for bed that we were both still wearing HIS breakfast on ourselves (my shirt, his hair).

But it was still a day. Just one out of many, right? Now, that was a lot to take in and I wanted to run and hide a few times (and I did cry once) but it was just a day.

Now we are at the end. And there were victories...getting the glasses back (breaking and entering, yes, but whatever), finding the right support after the doctor visit, and the straw bales are ready!

It was just a day. Days happen. Some are crazy but I need to remember to let them stay in their day, not to add or borrow to another day, just have one day.

So tomorrow is a whole new day, with whole new mercies, and I have no doubt there will be a whole new kid story, but let's not worry about it yet, ok?

Sleep well because it was just a day!

Lego Instructions Organization

We are starting to enter the Lego season with the boys...which I am pretty sure last the rest of their lives! Their daddy also has a few sets that he has received as gifts and little paper instruction books tucked on shelves were starting to make me itch!!

I looked around for a good solution and saw several 3-ring binder ideas so I made one that fit what we have now and should be able to grow as the kids collection grows...

First I picked up a one-inch binder. That fits what we have now with room to grow. Added a cover that makes me smile...

Then I labeled a set of dividers by types of Lego sets...Duplo, Creator, Technic, etc. For the movie based sets I just added a "movies" tab. If they get a lot for a specific movie, say Star Wars, we can always make a special section (I love how this will grow with them).

I then put each instruction booklet into a clear sleeve and put a large sticker with identifying information on the sleeve.

 If there was more than one booklet (like the Creator sets often have three things than can be created) I noted that on the sticker.

The sticker identifies the type of set, the Lego set number, and the name of the set. This should* allow for the instructions and the sleeve to always end up back in the right place.

(*should - we are still talking about little boys here...)

This project took about 15 minutes, because we are at the beginning of this season, and I am hoping I can keep it up as we grow!!

And Then He Was Three

Three. A simple number. More than a couple, less than many.

In the world of ages, it seems to mark the separation between "baby" and "kid".

So my baby is now a kid. How did that happen?!? After the years of heartache and wondering when, how did we get all way to having a three year old?

Because God is good. God is good TO US.

I think if you ask any parent they would say that the time of the child's birthday brings back memories of when their child was born.

For me, with Isaac, this brings up a cacophony of feelings. Happiness, fear, joy, terror, love, disbelief, and so on. I can remember clearly sitting on my parent's couch the day before we flew across the county for Isaac's birth and crying... being desperately afraid that we were this.close to finally having a baby boy of our own and what if it didn't work? What if his birthmom wasn't really prepared to make this choice for her baby? And tears of joy because we were finally this.close to being parents!

There were days I felt like we were taking the low road through hell to get to a baby. And I would do it again in a heartbeat to get my precious Isaac. To be his mommy. To be his first Valentine. To be the one who dries his tears.

And because I know that God was always there. That God was in our story. That God is still in our story. That our family is exactly as it is supposed to be even though there were so many days I had no idea where the story was going. But God was faithful to us as we were faithful to Him.

The last three years have been amazing and challenging! I heard once that first children should be disposable so you can have one to learn on... that seems kind of mean... but I do have to apologize a lot as I figure out this mom thing!

And, finally, I can't write a blog post about Isaac being three without listing the wonderful things about Isaac... in no particular order....

• His intense spirit
• His contagious laugh
• His bright smile
• His beautiful brown skin
• His silly way of describing the world
• His creativity
• His love for his brother
• His happy heart
• His compassion for others

And so many more.

 

So, my baby is now three. My baby is a kid. But he will always be my baby!!!

Conversations with a Three Year Old: Part 4

Isaac has taken to calling me "Sir". As in "could you help me, sir?" or "I would like some juice, sir."

It is terribly annoying....which probably makes him do this even more :)

And I blame that darn Fox in Socks...and Dr. Seuss himself, really.

Conversations with a Three Year Old: Part 3

Isaac and Joel were making a lot of very loud, typical little boy noises.

Isaac said, "Mommy, Joel is being loud."

Mommy: "Isaac, you are BOTH being loud."

Isaac: "Yes, but I am not bothering me!"

Isn't that how life works sometimes?

I love you and naps

That basically sums up my relationship with my toddlers!

Or I guess it could say "I love you and YOUR naps".

I love my boys so very much. I love being home with them very much.

But a mommy needs a break. An introvert needs a break. Even from her own precious children. There is nothing wrong with this, and if I can get on my soap box for a moment, I think other mom's might also thrive a little more if they did this. too.

So this is one of the ways I have set up my life to Thrive. Since I started Joel on a loose schedule at a few months old I focused on making sure my boys napped simultaneously each day. Yes, there are days when they are sick or something crazy happens that this doesn't happen, but 98% of the time their naps overlap.

And I am certain the very happiness of our family is dependent on this.

When Joel was taking three naps a day, Isaac joined in for the middle nap. When Joel moved to two naps, Isaac's nap moved back to match Joel's afternoon nap. Now that Joel is moving to one nap, on those days, Isaac's nap comes forward, too. When they are passed the nap stage, this will be a quiet time in our afternoon.

This is all in an attempt to give myself mommy time to refresh. Some days, probably less than half the time right now (much more when Joel was a newborn) I take a little nap. Most days, I do something that just needs doing that is hard with tiny hands around, or I blog, or do some extra reading. But mostly, I just have time to myself. I rarely even answer the phone during this hour.

Because I want to Thrive and I know that I need some quiet space in my day for that to be possible.

And when they wake up? I am happy to have my cuddly little noise makers back for the rest of the day!!

Mercy and Grace...for me, for my children (Part 2)

"Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in our time of need." Hebrews 4:16 NKJV

I talked about how much I love this verse, and the words in it, as it applies to me, here.

This time it is about how this verse has impacted the way I interact with my children.

Mercy.

Grace.

Do my children know that they can come to me and "...obtain mercy and find grace"?

That can stop a mom of toddlers in her tracks.

On Sunday, the Pastor said after stepping on a small toy his child left out, "I wanted to wake him up, make him pick up all the toys, clean the whole house, scrub toilets, and maybe walk around the block with a boulder on his head". Man, are there ever days I feel like that! (He didn't, and I don't, by the way).

Yet. God is OUR parent. Thus, my boys are going to learn what God as a parent is like from their only source of knowledge about parents....me and their daddy. Wow. Let me say that another way..I am my child's first view of God.

Does that view include Mercy? Does that view include Grace?

Or (cringing a little)

Does that view include short fuses? Yelling? Punishment in anger?

I don't want Isaac and Joel to view God as primarily angry or frustrated. I want them to view God as Mercy. Grace. Help in their time of need. Love.

So I try to parent through that lens. I am far from perfect. But I think I am making imperfect progress. I calm down. I take a breath. I get on their level. And I dig deep (sometimes very deep) for the mercy and grace I want my kids to know.

Because I love them. Because God loves them so much more.

TWO and ONE, TWO and ONE

Another post written before there was a bloggy home for it...

My kids are little and close together in age. Sometimes this is ever so clear in our daily interactions, but sometimes it still hits me like a ton of bricks.

Today was one of those times. In the middle of a VERY stressful situation where each of my boys was moving in a different direction and neither was going in the correct direction, I was asked "how old are they?"

I causally and quickly answered (as I was trying to stop Joel from damaging some expensive looking equipment), "two and one".

I am fairly certain this is the first time I have been asked that question since Joel's birthday. And there it hit me, even though my answer was quick. My mind heard it and went "Oooohhhh".

Yes, these boys are TWO and ONE. Both are learning boundaries  and limits and language and social cues and respect and so many other things...

This is just going to be life for awhile...two boys, two directions, some extra stress (probably some extra judgment from onlookers)...but that is OK because I know they are growing and learning...

And I will just keep repeating "TWO and ONE'!!

Thankfor for a sick day

This was written back in December before I had a good bloggy home for it!

Today I am feeling extra thankful!

Today my baby is sick.

Yes, they go together.

Joel has had a crummy cold for two weeks. He has that sick but still active kid look to him. The one that makes you wonder if you should really bother calling the doctor. But it has been two weeks, his face has some weird rash, and has back end isn't doing well either.

So off we went to the doctor. He probably has an underlying infection. Should be getting better with his first ever round of antibiotics.

And that was the first reason for thankfulness with a sick Joel. He is 13.5 months and this is our first real infection his body couldn't quite fight alone. That's pretty good.

Then the second reason, my kids are mostly healthy. I saw a couple kids that clearly had chronic health issues at the clinic. That requires a whole different level of super hero parenting. So I am thankful that even though we had to make a quick run to the doctor for a cold, we don't go very often.

Finally, I was reading tonight about a newborn who contracted bacterial meningitis and is fighting for her life. Wow! Again, it put my little snot nose baby in perspective and I am so thankful that my boys have been, on the whole, pretty healthy.

I don't, and won't, take that for granted.

I am thankful today for the reminder for just how much we have to be thankful for in healthy kids!!

Conversations with a Three Year Old: Part 1

Confession: Our son isn't three yet. BUT he is only about six weeks away and we are already having those crazy conversations you only have with someone this age.

This will be a regular installment as Mark and I navigate the wonders of having a three year old living under our roof. Given that 8 months after Isaac turns four, Joel will be three...we will be in this phase for awhile!

So, yesterday....
Time: Afternoon Snack
Where: Kitchen

Mommy: Isaac, do you want a butter sandwich? (A butter sandwich is one piece of bread folded in half with butter on it)

Isaac: TWO butter sandwiches!

M: How about a big butter sandwich? (As in two pieces of bread with butter in the middle)

I: Okay.

(Mommy starts to take bread out of bag, Isaac starts to whine about something being wrong)

I: NO, I want a BREAD sandwich!

M: Okay, here you go. (Putting two pieces of bread together and handing them to Isaac thinking in my head in my best internal Olaf voice "ok, easier for me")

I: NO, do it myself! (Puts bread back on counter. Stacks bread. Picks bread up)

(Takes one bite)

I: Can I have butter on it, please?

Final verdict...what he really wanted was a bread sandwich with butter. Which is totally and completely different than a butter sandwich!!

Yes, I did leave the room to laugh!