Praying for our kids...and their education

Those sweet kids are all heading back to school in the next month and that transition is high in my heart and mind right now. In the last seven and a half years since becoming a mom, I have received more parenting advice than I knew was possible. A couple of those actually stand out, have stood through the test of time, and have continued to help me be a better parent. Not surprising for something that has staying power, both were about praying, seeking and receiving God’s wisdom regarding our children. 

One of these best pieces of wisdom was from an older wise mom regarding how she approached the education of her children. I revisit this every school year as we are preparing our kids, minds, hearts, and home to begin the school year again. 

Each year this woman and her husband would pray over the method of education for each of their three sons for that school year. She knew each child was unique, and in a unique season of life, and that one style of education may not be right for all of them. She shared that one year she had a child in public school, a child in private school, and a child she home schooled (she was a busy momma!). She knew her children would grow and thrive in these spaces. I never knew if she had a preferred education ideology, if she had always planned to home school, or if supporting public education was a core value for her. It didn’t matter. She had prayed over her children and had each one where God said each one would thrive.

When our first child was a little over a year old, I was sitting a table full of moms and was asked “what will you be doing for school for Isaac?”. I had no answer. He was ONE! I must have looked shocked because the follow up was “you NEED to get him on the waiting lists now for the best schools”. Oh boy. I was then treated to each mom telling me the exact educational plan for each family. None of these families even had school age children yet but they had such an important sounding plan. The words I had heard spoken to me earlier came to mind, and not trying to be flippant, I said “well, my husband and I will pray over our son for each school year and place him where we believe God will have him thrive”. That comment took me right out of the comparison plan for education.

We have continued to pray specifically for the best way to educate our kids. Even though our oldest son is only heading to the second grade this fall, we have already made choices we wouldn’t have made if we were not specifically praying for each child each year. Even this year, I made a choice about one of our kids without praying about it, I made what I thought was the "logical" choice, and then it started to not feel right. When we prayed over the decision, we made a completely different choice...one that I can see will help that child thrive and grow.

And we know that God will work out whatever that best place is. Honestly, given our family resources, I am pretty thankful that public school has been a good fit so far. God gave us a home in a fantastic school district for our specific children before we even knew we needed what they had to offer. But, if God calls us to home school one of the kids or send them to a private school, we can trust that he will also provide the necessary resources to make those happen. I can pray with the assurance that God loves my kids even more than I do and He will show us the path He has for each of them and will provide the way to get there.

My 2018 goal

I set out at the beginning of the year to write more. Late in 2017, I read about the idea of having just one goal and focusing on that rather than several goals that might all get mixed up. I decided to try it with writing. For the first time in my adult life my goal list had just one item. That was to write an average of 500 words per week and to have 26,000 words written by the end of 2018. These would be journal entries, blog posts, and speech notes. Every week the top item on my planner was “500 words”.

I started strong. When I really sit down to write, I can often go far past 500 words on a blog post. The Spring was solid and I was actually ahead. Then Summer came and I had 4 small people to keep busy. I started to slip. I wasn’t hitting 500 words every week. But it was my one goal so I wasn’t going to let a few weeks slip stop me for the year. I had ONE GOAL. I couldn’t fail at just one. I could fail at many, but to fail at one? That would just be sad.

I rallied in September and found a new writing time. I wasn’t too far behind. I could still do this thing. It would just take determination. And then the Fall holidays began and it was hard to find the time again. But still, I wanted to do this thing and I wasn’t that far behind.

That brought me to early December. I had to write 3000 words by the end of the year. I started to wonder if I could really do it. That would be more than 500 words a week at a busy time of year. I told my dad I didn’t know if I could make it and he asked where I was on my goal. I said “3000 words away, I might just fail”.

His reply changed my game.

He said “You already are at 85% or so of your goal. You may miss the word count, but that is hardly a fail.”

He was right. Since when would 85% be failing? And more importantly, I have written more this year than ever before because of this goal. My husband has encouraged my writing more this year than ever before because he knew my goal. I am closer to be a “real writer” than ever before. My goal has moved me forward as a person and a writer and that is what goals are supposed to do. So even if I missed the 26,000 words, I would not be failing my goal.

And that, as it turned out, made my want to write even more. I wrote during naptime. I took my kids to the Y playrooms and never made it to the exercise rooms, I would just write in the lobby. I might miss my goal. But I was not failing and I was a better person for trying. I was at peace with myself regarding my goal, which can be just as important as meeting the goal itself.

That brings me to today. I am super excited to report that I have done it! I have written 26,118 words in 2018. I am crying as I write this. It was a stretch goal. I could have quit with 4 little human excuses. But I didn’t. I kept going and I did it!!

And here’s to 30,000 words in 2019!

This Goal is for Me

I am a New Year goal maker. I know a lot of people are jaded about starting new resolutions or life changes or goals in January. I don’t really care that it is cliché. While, yes, it is just “another day”, it is one that can be easily marked. In recent years, my “reset” days have often been with the birth of a new baby, also easily marked, but I am past that season so I am sticking with New Year’s for this round.

Actually, I did a lot of thinking about my “goals” over the last several weeks. Many of them could also be viewed as just a matter of intentional living. They outlined how I wanted to be mindful and purposeful with how I spent my time. It was certainly a good list of my priorities. The list included such things as “build deeper relationships”, “continually update baby books”, “live within our budget”. All good things, but not quite “goals” as I have been thinking of them recently.

Then I watched a video awhile back by Jon Acuff, this was hard for me, as my husband would tell you, I don’t like to watch anything. But it was about stay at home mom’s (I think) and doing ONE thing well. That you don’t need a huge list of goals. That raising kids could just be the ONE thing you are doing really well today (or trying to, because let’s be real, parenting is HARD).

So I started thinking about ONE thing. What was a one thing I could focus on for this year? Yes, I raise my kids (my long term goals include “raising decent humans” – time frame 18+ years), but was there one goal that could be mine as April rather than all my other roles?  I thought and prayed about it.

Then it came to me. Also on my long term goals is writing a book so I need a habit of writing. Or maybe even the writings I could come up with would slowly become a book. At any rate, writing started to be my goal. I actually love to write, so this was definitely one that would be an April goal. It would also be a stretch because I have 4 small kids so time isn’t exactly hanging off my hands.

I didn’t want to just say ‘write something’. That was too vague. I wanted something that was definable and could be checked off, so to speak. I would know when it was done. So my goal is to write 500 words a week. About what? That will be a surprise to all of us! I am giving myself the freedom to write this on my blog, as a long Thriving in the Middle Life FB post, as a journal entry. So long as 100 words are together, I will accumulate them towards my 500 for the week.

The math says this is 26,000 words. A quick check on Google says a 200 page book is about 55,000 words. Looks like I will be off to a good habit and start towards that book.

What are your goals this year? Do you have a big one? Several small ones for intentional living? I would love to hear about them.

And just in case anyone was wondering….this was 558 words. Week one done!