My Mission Statement

This is my Facebook status from this morning:

Woke up feeling a little overwhelmed...then I remembered that everything I want to do today is part of living my mission so it will be a great day no matter how much gets accomplished!

It is now it is 8:45 pm and I feel a sense of accomplishment in this day.

For exactly the reason I thought I would at 8:45 this morning.

Not everything on my list got done, but I lived my mission. So there was accomplishment far deeper than checking off a task list.

Here are some of the things I did today...

Visited with a friend
Made sugar cookies with 2 sweet girls and 1 silly Isaac.
A few loads of laundry.
Ironing.

And it all fits my mission. I love having a mission that fits all of my life into a simple phrase.

To inspire, believe in, and accomplish growth in myself and those around me.

 That's it. One simple phrase.

My last quarter of college I had to take a senior capstone class that tied together the four years of schooling I was finishing. Except my program was so small we didn't have one. So I took a Journey Through Leadership class instead. It was there that I was guided through writing my mission.

I think the coolest thing about my mission statement was that I wrote it when I was thinking my life was going to be a career in economics (specifically having a PhD in economics and working for the Department of State on the economic mission to the European Union) and it still works as a stay at home mom with a part time business selling children's books.

My mission has become part of my life habits. I don't necessarily think it every day, but it is a part of my every day. Here are a few ways this is true:

One of my favorite uses of my mission statement is using it to say "yes" or "no". There are so many demands on our time these days...church, kids, community, etc. When I get asked to do something, I can evaluate it against my mission statement and determine my answer. Now, my mission statement is a habit so I generally don't even think really hard about this, I just know if something fits. This is important because I have only so much time, energy, money, emotional resilience and doing one thing means I can't do something else. But, I also want to please people so I have the tendency to fill guilty about saying "no"...but if I am saying no because it doesn't match my mission I have almost no guilt at all!

Another way I love my mission being part of my life is that even if my "to do" list isn't completed, I still have accomplishment. This happens more days than I would really like, but still, I have accomplishment when I live my mission. That might mean setting aside my list to spend extra time pouring into my boys personal growth or decorating cookies with little girls. At the end of the day, I have accomplishment. Bringing it back to a daily habit, I don't have to write my "to do" list sitting in front of my mission statement...what I want to do generally flows out of that mission.

In general I think mission statements help ground us to our values and set a vision for our future. To create a future that is what we want it to be rather than just were we are pulled or how we feel on a certain day.

If you don't have a mission statement, I really recommend spending some time to find one....and make sure it is broad and simple enough to fit your life today and in the future. And check back here because I am going to have another post soon on figuring out your mission!

Conversations with a Three Year Old: Part 5

Overheard at the playground...

Random Adult: "Is that your mommy?"

Isaac: "Yes, and she is also my April"

I am not even sure what to think of that!

The beginning of bravery

We all like the idea of bravery. We see other people take a risk and think "that was really brave". Hollywood makes money off of showing us bravery. Disney knows the Prince needs to do something brave to win the heart of the princess (or, in the case of Frozen, the princess bravely chooses true love, still, Anna was brave!)

Yet in our own lives we don't always see our bravery. We call it something else. Crazy? Stupid? (In the first year of having two babies 20 months apart in age I often left my house with them to do something thinking "this is really brave or really stupid"!)

Or do we see acts of desperation where others might see acts of bravery? Does bravery occur because we feel we have no other option but to step out on that desperate path?

Let me give an example...when I graduated from college I was 21, had a degree in Economic Theory, and needed a job. The problem was that there wasn't a huge need for right out of college economist in my city. So I needed to relocate. I also knew that in person interviews were a good idea. And I was running out of money. All of this prompted me (especially that last part about money) to pack up and move from one side of the country to the other, without a job when I got there, to a city where I knew no one. I was desperate. From my point of view, there wasn't another good option. I packed up my few belongings and a grouchy cat in a Honda Civic and drove across the U. S. My plan did work, I had a job within a few weeks, but I had no guarantee of that at the time.

I have retold that story many times in the 11 years since I did it. Almost every time I have told it, the response has been "that was brave" and I kind of looked at people funny at first because I thought "no it wasn't, it was crazy, it was terrifying, it was desperate!"

That is just one story, I have lots more, where I felt totally desperate in the moment but when I look back I can see the bravery. Which makes me wonder "does bravery begin in desperation?"

Even if you go back to Prince Charming he fought the dragon because he was desperate to get the Princess not because it looked like fun. It is a silly example, but it works.

Are we willing to take the desperation to get the bravery? I hate feeling desperate, it is a place of vulnerability, but if I let it be a time of growth, bravery happens and then amazing things can happen.

That job I got? I left it three years later to start a company that contracted for my original employer. That company not only employed myself, it paid for my husband to get through college, and employed a few family members as well. GREAT things came of that desperate brave act of moving without a job.

I am starting to realize that I need to reframe my story. To look at events maybe as an outsider. To see what it looks like to be brave when I just feel desperate. And if I am going to reframe my past in the context of bravery, can I start to reframe my "now" as brave? Are the hard days of being in the Middle Life, of learning how to Thrive, really days of bravery? I started out this year wanting to Thrive in my Middle Life...even that was kind of a feeling of desperation. I mean, I was feeling kind of stuck so I decided I would Thrive because I didn't see another choice while I was here. But I am starting to feel brave! The little, and big, things I am doing to Thrive this year are acts of bravery, one step at a time. I am choosing to reframe the story starting in the now.

I like stories, so here is another one...We struggled with infertility for the first few years of our marriage. It was a hard road. It was a dark road.  It was a very desperate road. As we walked in our desperation it became clear that adoption was going to be the path for us. That road was also filled with desperate longing for a baby. We adopted our son in early 2012 and, if I let myself, I can still feel that desperation, but I can look back and see the bravery, too...we opened our hearts to the idea of bringing in this new baby. Providing a life he would not have otherwise had. I love that little boy with my whole heart. Our journey to him was desperate and brave and beautiful. And I am thankful today that I reached a point of desperation that led to the bravery of choosing adoption to grow our family. Without desperation, I wouldn't have Isaac.

So as I embrace Isaac, I want to remind myself to embrace the desperate times, but to look for the bravery, because it is there and that is the story I want to write. Starting now. Starting with the bravery of embracing, of Thriving in, the Middle Life.

It was...a day!

(I have been working on a deep blog post for several days, it isn't quite done, but this one was in my head today, so here it is....)

Marriage speaker Mark Gungor once said if you ask a man how his day was he will look back and the box could be empty already and he will say "ummm, it was...a day!". But a woman will tell you every. little. detail.

Sometimes, though, I look back and all I can say was "that was...a day" because I can't even believe all of what transpired in that day. Some days I am sure I have lived a whole week since I got up in the morning!! But, I can't even repeat it because it was so overwhelming, so I just say to myself "well, that was A DAY".

Today was one of those days.

I woke up feeling overwhelmed and then spent my day putting out fires and having new reasons to feel overwhelmed....

...starting a new business and all the little details of trying to have a kick off.

...taking my son to the doctor and dealing with billing problems (this one was resolved by other people today. YAY!) and then getting some heavy information about the kiddo during the appointment (thanking God that I have a HUGE support team to turn to to sort stuff out with).

....volunteering to make FORTY rice crispy straw bales for preschool tomorrow (the volunteering was done weeks ago, I was crazy).

...sending my kids out to play and having the 3 year old throw the 1 year old's glasses over the fence! (trying to be thankful he told me what he did!)

...and realizing as I got the toddler ready for bed that we were both still wearing HIS breakfast on ourselves (my shirt, his hair).

But it was still a day. Just one out of many, right? Now, that was a lot to take in and I wanted to run and hide a few times (and I did cry once) but it was just a day.

Now we are at the end. And there were victories...getting the glasses back (breaking and entering, yes, but whatever), finding the right support after the doctor visit, and the straw bales are ready!

It was just a day. Days happen. Some are crazy but I need to remember to let them stay in their day, not to add or borrow to another day, just have one day.

So tomorrow is a whole new day, with whole new mercies, and I have no doubt there will be a whole new kid story, but let's not worry about it yet, ok?

Sleep well because it was just a day!

Lego Instructions Organization

We are starting to enter the Lego season with the boys...which I am pretty sure last the rest of their lives! Their daddy also has a few sets that he has received as gifts and little paper instruction books tucked on shelves were starting to make me itch!!

I looked around for a good solution and saw several 3-ring binder ideas so I made one that fit what we have now and should be able to grow as the kids collection grows...

First I picked up a one-inch binder. That fits what we have now with room to grow. Added a cover that makes me smile...

Then I labeled a set of dividers by types of Lego sets...Duplo, Creator, Technic, etc. For the movie based sets I just added a "movies" tab. If they get a lot for a specific movie, say Star Wars, we can always make a special section (I love how this will grow with them).

I then put each instruction booklet into a clear sleeve and put a large sticker with identifying information on the sleeve.

 If there was more than one booklet (like the Creator sets often have three things than can be created) I noted that on the sticker.

The sticker identifies the type of set, the Lego set number, and the name of the set. This should* allow for the instructions and the sleeve to always end up back in the right place.

(*should - we are still talking about little boys here...)

This project took about 15 minutes, because we are at the beginning of this season, and I am hoping I can keep it up as we grow!!

And Then He Was Three

Three. A simple number. More than a couple, less than many.

In the world of ages, it seems to mark the separation between "baby" and "kid".

So my baby is now a kid. How did that happen?!? After the years of heartache and wondering when, how did we get all way to having a three year old?

Because God is good. God is good TO US.

I think if you ask any parent they would say that the time of the child's birthday brings back memories of when their child was born.

For me, with Isaac, this brings up a cacophony of feelings. Happiness, fear, joy, terror, love, disbelief, and so on. I can remember clearly sitting on my parent's couch the day before we flew across the county for Isaac's birth and crying... being desperately afraid that we were this.close to finally having a baby boy of our own and what if it didn't work? What if his birthmom wasn't really prepared to make this choice for her baby? And tears of joy because we were finally this.close to being parents!

There were days I felt like we were taking the low road through hell to get to a baby. And I would do it again in a heartbeat to get my precious Isaac. To be his mommy. To be his first Valentine. To be the one who dries his tears.

And because I know that God was always there. That God was in our story. That God is still in our story. That our family is exactly as it is supposed to be even though there were so many days I had no idea where the story was going. But God was faithful to us as we were faithful to Him.

The last three years have been amazing and challenging! I heard once that first children should be disposable so you can have one to learn on... that seems kind of mean... but I do have to apologize a lot as I figure out this mom thing!

And, finally, I can't write a blog post about Isaac being three without listing the wonderful things about Isaac... in no particular order....

• His intense spirit
• His contagious laugh
• His bright smile
• His beautiful brown skin
• His silly way of describing the world
• His creativity
• His love for his brother
• His happy heart
• His compassion for others

And so many more.

 

So, my baby is now three. My baby is a kid. But he will always be my baby!!!